Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
