Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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