when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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