Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
