y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
