I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you inspire me to be a worse person
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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