just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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