its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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