We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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