make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
3 2 1 whiskey
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
