So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She announced her abortion via fbk
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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