Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
