Buhtt sex?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
