Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I don't deserve a penis
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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