Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
