the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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