So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
