I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
