I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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