question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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