wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
