Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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