I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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