Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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