So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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