He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
