it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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