is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
