never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
