Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
