So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
