I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
