ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
