good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
