You made me cry and you don't even care
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
