He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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