I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
