I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
