Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
