my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize