Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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