Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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