the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We were destined to go to rehab together
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
