Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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