And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize