I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
