I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
