Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
