proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
