either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
