Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
