I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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