Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
