Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
please don't ironically join a cult
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