and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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