apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
do nipples grow back?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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